Upcoming Films

Every month if I’m not too busy basting myself in yogurt (why not!) or practicing my impression of a helicopter I’ll try to give a view of some upcoming films.

This will be a mix of those films whose adverts are more ubiquitous than celebrity deaths in 2016 and anything that interests me no matter how good or bad they look:

February

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter
I didn’t particularly like any of the resident evil films and I don’t really care about this one. However, stuntwoman Olivia Jackson had a horrific crash that left her with only one arm and only a month later a crewmember died on set. Call me morbid but i’m more interested in seeing Res-E for these reasons than the actual film.

The Space Between Us
A boy who has spent his whole life on Mars finds love over the internet? spacernet? starphone? whatever, it seems like an interesting concept especially since we are meant to be living on Mars by now.

The Lego Batman Movie
Two words: Lego. Batman. I mean… do I really need to say anything more? Yes?! OK, LEGO FUCKING BATMAN!

Hidden Figures
Hidden figures is about a number crunching mathematician at NASA but the title refers to the fact that the mathematician is a black woman and therefore ignored and marginalised. I love films about breaking down stupid arbitrary social boundaries so I think this will be very good.

John Wick: Chapter 2
John Wick was legitimately one of the best action films made in a long time. It was also a film that seems to have gone criminally under the radar. If you like action films, and the second is as good as the first WATCH THIS FILM!

A Cure for Wellness
Not really sure what to make of this. It’s about a guy who goes to get his boss from a mysterious wellness retreat. When he get weird stuff happens. Is this a horror or a mysterious thriller? Not sure but i’ll give it a watch – it loks interesting.

 

March

Logan
Ever played The Last Of Us? It’s among one of the best games ever made and this film seems strikingly close in tone and theme. It could well be the best X-Men film to date. Don’t write it off even if the superhero genre isn’t your bread and butter

Kong: Skull Island
KOOOOONNNNNNGGG. No wait, that’s meant to be Kahn. Anyway, this looks like a really exciting new take and the mythos of King kong.

Beauty and the Beast
I clearly failed at childhood because this is yet another Disney film that I never saw but everyone says it’s good so let’s go with it.

Power Rangers
What I like about this reboot is that it has grown up with the children who first watched the TV show and it seems like this film is for them… or me. I mean sure there are kids watching some version of it now who would love a movie length version but F them! They can have beauty and the beast or Power Rangers: X force gravity sparkle hero beast squad or whatever it is now.

Life
In space no-one can hear you scream. Nor can they hear some random transformative parasitic alien life force taking over the ISS. Colour me intrigued.

Ghost in the Shell
Whitewashing. It’s a hot topic right now in Hollywood and here is yet another foreign classic being whitewashed but god damn this looks incredible!

CHIPS
CHIPS probably won’t be a great comedy. Buddy cops, dirty cops, homophobia, power trips, it’s all been done before but at least the trailer offers a bit more subtlety than say Paul Blartt: Mall Cop. Might be worth a watch.

Man Down
Shia LaBeouf has done a lot to transform himself after his fast talking, wise cracking roles in err… all of his films. First he has become a redneck in Lawless, then a hyper focused and edgy gunner in Fury and somewhere in-between he did a bit of bat-shit crazy and plagiarism. Here is is again trying to distance himself from his typecast and you have to give it to him: the guy can act.

 

April

Coming Soon
…ish!

June

Coming Soon
…ish…ish!

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