London Has Fallen

Team America: London Police

Oops, it seems London Has Fallen was accidentally released 4 months early because, unless I’m on tripping balls, it’s not the 4th of July yet, right?

I enjoyed the film but it’s a classic example of America having a raging hard on for America.

London Has Fallen feels like is a sequel to Olympus Has Fallen. Yes, I know it is a sequel but what I’m trying to say is that this is Olympus Has Fallen In London and not London Has Fallen.

The film has very little to do with London except for the fact that it is set there. There are a few bizarre British approximations such as the head of police being given a tea on arriving at work.

Even some of the dialogue follows this trait: “…so everyone muck in!”, “The wheels are in the garage”. No-one talks like that.

They may as well have gone all in and include officers saying “‘Ello ‘ello, what’s goin’ on here then?”.

Moreover the writer’s loins are clearly swelling with national pride as many of the lines un-apologetically gush about how amazing America in moments that could induce diabetes quicker than downing 17 boxes of Lucky Charms in one sitting.

I was quite surprised therefore to find out that the director wasn’t Brock Johnson or something equally as American but instead Iranian born director Babak Najafi?!

Anyway; that only accounts for half the script. The other is actually quite entertaining. There is a good chemistry between Gerrard Butler and Aaron Eckhart and the jokes and quips that sporadically grace the film are a welcome reprieve from constant action.

Butler’s action scenes are really solid and will certainly keep you entertained throughout the film but it might not be good enough to make your jaw drop if you are an action aficionado.

There was one action scene that deserves a mention and this is a scene where Butler (and a small army) is progressing up a London street amidst constant gunfire and grenades. What’s good about that? Well it is one, long, single continuous shot and I love those more than I love apple crumble. Mmmm apple crumble.

The scenes featuring iconic London monuments being destroyed were entirely underwhelming though. This was partly due to less than stellar CGI work but mainly because of the methodical plotting that went into their destruction.

At the start of the film Mr Evil Bad-Guy wants western politicians dead so he starts blowing things up in events that feel more convenient than they found loads of oil weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Events such as only one of the two towers of Westminster Abbey blowing up because it happened to have the Italian President on it. Or a bridge blown up because another government official was stuck in traffic on it.

London Has Fallen is like a half/half pizza with one side pepperoni and the other side pigeon lips and baboon anus. At times it’s an enjoyable and interesting action film but then you get other times it’s patriotic tripe. I mean even the music swells to orgasmic crescendos whenever the Mr President is on screen.

I was half expecting John Wayne to start dropping freedom bombs from atop a bald eagle in what, in places, feels like a live action version of Team America visit London.

The Good, The Bad and The Outcome:

+ Decent action (in places)
+ Enjoyable script (in places)
+ Entertaining throughout

– Terrible, convenient, action (in places)
– Rubbish script (in places)
– Too patriotic

Stars_3

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